If the Bible permits it, why can't I own a Canadian?

Here's a classic (all the way from 2002) expose of the ridiculousness of some entities that deserve to be ridiculed: the Old Testament and Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination.

End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them: [here's one of many]

...Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

Thanks to Brook, my wife's churchless niece, for passing on this link. And to the Humanists of Utah for hosting it. Being a humanist in Utah must be as challenging as being a vegetarian in an Eskimo village.